Ol' Jessie

[aDUCKted]

>
>One day in the future, Jesse Jackson has a heart-attack and dies. He
> >immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I
don't
>know
>
> >what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no
room
> >for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm
>going
> >to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as
you.
> >
> >I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even
let
> >YOU decide who leaves."
> >
> >Jesse thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door
to
>the
>
> >first room. In it, was Ted kennedy and a large pool of water. He
kept
> >diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he
dove
>in
>
> >and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell. "No," Jesse
said.
>"I
> >don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do
> >
> >that all day long."
> >
> >The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Al Gore
with a
> >sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that
hammer,
> >time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my
shoulder.
>I
> >would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all
day,"
> >commented Jesse
> >
> >The devil opened a third door. Through it, Jesse saw
> >
> >Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms tied over his head,
and
>his
> >legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica
>Lewinsky,
> >doing what she does best.
> >
> >Jesse looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said,
> >
> >"Yeah, I can handle this."
> >
> >The devil smiled and said . . . . .. . .. . .. . ..
> >
> >"OK, Monica, you're free to go."

[duckstomper]