My boys are coming out with me this morning! They all have solid khaki canvas waders too!
I figure we’ll kick off the morning with some obnoxious hail calls! I am going to smack the shit out of those mallards! It’s going to be so fucking loud! I’ll bet I can blow the head off those mallards with my #4 Hevi shot! I’m that fucking pumped!
I can almost taste the Starbucks and Baileys! I put it on my God damned cereal! I’m slamming one right now!
I’m thinking about buying another mudmotor boat this year!
I’m gonna fight some poachers this morning! I pray to God someone steps foot on my bad ass lease! I will beat his ass! And God help him if he gets any blood on khaki canvas waders! If he does, I’ll scrub it out with his dick and some bleach! I mean it!
I’m gonna make some duck sausage with all the birds I kill today! You heard me! When I see a group of mallards, I’m gonna drop three of them, and you know I will claim all three kills! I will rub my cock against the crippled hens so the know who the hell they are messing with!
I will ride my ATV to the blind today, no matter how deep the water is and how many times I fly over the handle bars!
I will treat the bird boy with contempt and make sure that he knows that I am superior to him in life! I will tell him to “Take it easy on the breasts, Champ”!
I will talk to people I don’t know about my job in the coffee shop this morning! They will all know that I am an important man! I will call female waitresses “Babe” and male waiters “Chief”!
When I do not shoot some mallards, I will say the mallards will fly late today! We will wait in a long time only to strike out again!
I will give up and decide to order a sausage and jalapeno kolache off of a street vendor! I will make fun of him to my friends for being foreign! I will look ridiculous purchasing my kolache because people will be able to tell by my khaki canvas waders and tinted sunglasses that I struck out and am settling for a kolache!
I will make one last attempt to hook up by trying to coax two bootlips who are circling a local WMA to coming to my spread for “after hours”! When they say no I will make fun of them for being bootlips! I will leave! I’ll tell my buddies I could careless about shooting birds, I just enjoy being out there.
When I get home I will go to the bathroom and hold the straight razor to my wrist again! I will gently drag the razor laterally against my vein, making sure not to actually cut myself!
I will then go to my room and pass out! I will need some shut eye so that I’ll be ready to fucking hunt again tomorrow!
very nice
