Cowgirl
A blonde had a near death experience the other day when she went horseback riding.
Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control.
She tried with all her might to hold on, but was thrown off. With her
foot caught in the stirrup, she fell head first to the ground. Her head
continued to bounce on the ground as the horse did not stop or even slow down.
Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart manager
came out and unplugged it.
Thank goodness for heroes.
.......
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was
knitting! The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver,
"PULL OVER!"
"NO," the blonde yelled back, "It's a SCARF!"
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Foursomes
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies
are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when
finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet.
She goes over to the ball, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men
waiting and says apologetically: "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help."
One of the men immediately replies: "No, you see there is your problem.
You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
*****************
(This lady had to be a blonde)
One day while returning to my desk after a routine call, a young lady flagged me down and asked for help.
"My floppy drive won't work, can you help me ?"
I told her I'd take a look and proceeded over to her machine, where I found shredded up clear plastic Baggie-like stuff hanging out of her 3.5" floppy drive.
While I spent the next 20 minutes getting her disk out and digging out the plastic, I noticed two guys in the corner of the office trying awfully hard to keep a straight face.
Suspecting some mischief, I asked her how the plastic got into the drive.
"Oh, you mean the condom!"
"Condom???"
"Yes. John & Dave over there told me to always put a condom on my disk before inserting it, to prevent catching viruses"
By this point those to guys, identified now as John and Dave, were roaring and it was all I could do to keep from joining them.
The "condom" turned out to be a standard 3.5" plastic sleeve. I delicately explained to her that a practical joke had been played, and she shouldn't do that anymore,
when she asked (as serious as could be)
"Does that mean I don't have to stroke it ten times or blow on it either???"
****************
blond jokes...
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Bily Lovec
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