Equivalent to the Striped Shirt Article with a twist of Dane
Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 5:43 pm
Look at my canvas waders! Fucking look at them! These waders mean one thing! I’m coming home with some fucking ducks today! That’s right! It’s been a long week at the office and it’s time to blow off a little steam! I am a Junior Vice President! I have business cards that say “Junior Vice President” on them! They’re glossy and magnificent! Here! Have one! Take it!
My boys are coming out with me this morning! They all have solid khaki canvas waders too!
I figure we’ll kick off the morning with some obnoxious hail calls! I am going to smack the shit out of those mallards! It’s going to be so fucking loud! I’ll bet I can blow the head off those mallards with my #4 Hevi shot! I’m that fucking pumped!
I can almost taste the Starbucks and Baileys! I put it on my God damned cereal! I’m slamming one right now!
I’m thinking about buying another mudmotor boat this year!
I’m gonna fight some poachers this morning! I pray to God someone steps foot on my bad ass lease! I will beat his ass! And God help him if he gets any blood on khaki canvas waders! If he does, I’ll scrub it out with his dick and some bleach! I mean it!
I’m gonna make some duck sausage with all the birds I kill today! You heard me! When I see a group of mallards, I’m gonna drop three of them, and you know I will claim all three kills! I will rub my cock against the crippled hens so the know who the hell they are messing with!
I will ride my ATV to the blind today, no matter how deep the water is and how many times I fly over the handle bars!
I will treat the bird boy with contempt and make sure that he knows that I am superior to him in life! I will tell him to “Take it easy on the breasts, Champ”!
I will talk to people I don’t know about my job in the coffee shop this morning! They will all know that I am an important man! I will call female waitresses “Babe” and male waiters “Chief”!
When I do not shoot some mallards, I will say the mallards will fly late today! We will wait in a long time only to strike out again!
I will give up and decide to order a sausage and jalapeno kolache off of a street vendor! I will make fun of him to my friends for being foreign! I will look ridiculous purchasing my kolache because people will be able to tell by my khaki canvas waders and tinted sunglasses that I struck out and am settling for a kolache!
I will make one last attempt to hook up by trying to coax two bootlips who are circling a local WMA to coming to my spread for “after hours”! When they say no I will make fun of them for being bootlips! I will leave! I’ll tell my buddies I could careless about shooting birds, I just enjoy being out there.
When I get home I will go to the bathroom and hold the straight razor to my wrist again! I will gently drag the razor laterally against my vein, making sure not to actually cut myself!
I will then go to my room and pass out! I will need some shut eye so that I’ll be ready to fucking hunt again tomorrow!
My boys are coming out with me this morning! They all have solid khaki canvas waders too!
I figure we’ll kick off the morning with some obnoxious hail calls! I am going to smack the shit out of those mallards! It’s going to be so fucking loud! I’ll bet I can blow the head off those mallards with my #4 Hevi shot! I’m that fucking pumped!
I can almost taste the Starbucks and Baileys! I put it on my God damned cereal! I’m slamming one right now!
I’m thinking about buying another mudmotor boat this year!
I’m gonna fight some poachers this morning! I pray to God someone steps foot on my bad ass lease! I will beat his ass! And God help him if he gets any blood on khaki canvas waders! If he does, I’ll scrub it out with his dick and some bleach! I mean it!
I’m gonna make some duck sausage with all the birds I kill today! You heard me! When I see a group of mallards, I’m gonna drop three of them, and you know I will claim all three kills! I will rub my cock against the crippled hens so the know who the hell they are messing with!
I will ride my ATV to the blind today, no matter how deep the water is and how many times I fly over the handle bars!
I will treat the bird boy with contempt and make sure that he knows that I am superior to him in life! I will tell him to “Take it easy on the breasts, Champ”!
I will talk to people I don’t know about my job in the coffee shop this morning! They will all know that I am an important man! I will call female waitresses “Babe” and male waiters “Chief”!
When I do not shoot some mallards, I will say the mallards will fly late today! We will wait in a long time only to strike out again!
I will give up and decide to order a sausage and jalapeno kolache off of a street vendor! I will make fun of him to my friends for being foreign! I will look ridiculous purchasing my kolache because people will be able to tell by my khaki canvas waders and tinted sunglasses that I struck out and am settling for a kolache!
I will make one last attempt to hook up by trying to coax two bootlips who are circling a local WMA to coming to my spread for “after hours”! When they say no I will make fun of them for being bootlips! I will leave! I’ll tell my buddies I could careless about shooting birds, I just enjoy being out there.
When I get home I will go to the bathroom and hold the straight razor to my wrist again! I will gently drag the razor laterally against my vein, making sure not to actually cut myself!
I will then go to my room and pass out! I will need some shut eye so that I’ll be ready to fucking hunt again tomorrow!
very nice
